I’m an idiot.

I’m a HUGE idiot. God. I’ve kept making stupid stupid mistakes and I’ve ended up pushing away all the people I care about. And I deserve it. If I would have realized that I was becoming this stupid fucking bitch I could have stopped it. If I wouldn’t have been such a stubborn fuck, I could have stopped it. But no. And now I’m sitting here feeling sorry for myself. I lost my best friend because of my idiocy and my laziness and it hurts. A lot. I knew something would happen in the end. I knew it. If I wouldn’t have kept thinking “Everyone I care about ends up leaving me” it might not have happened.

Now the only plans I had for myself are in shambles and I don’t have a reason to try anymore.

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